What Does the Phantom Say?
by Phantom watermelon
Summary: This is a collection of random stories about Phantom of the Opera. These will be based of the Leroux novel. Raoul lovers may want to keep their hands at the level of their eyes. Or just skip over those chapter. Hope you enjoy!
1. What does the Phantom say?

**I absolutely love the song ****_What Does the Fox Say, _****so I decided to combine it with my most favorite thing ****_Phantom of the_****_Opera._**** Hope you enjoy! This is Leroux based. (Piangi's part will be in parentheses)**

**Note: I do not** **own Phantom of the Opera or What does the fox say.**

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Erik was sitting at his desk, writing notes to the managers. He stopped to take of his mask and rub his face. That's when the alarm went off. "Who could be invading Erik's lair at a time like this?" he grumbled. Quickly he put his mask back on and grabbed his Punjab lasso. Whoever disturbed his peace was going to pay. He had just gotten a little ways, when he saw two girls. As he looked closer, he could see they had on black t-shirts with a white mask on the front. One was blonde and the other was brunette. They were walking towards his house arguing all the way.

"Bet he will look like the Leroux Erik," the brunette said.

"I'm going with Andrew Lloyd Webber musical," the blonde said.

"In your dreams. You saw Christine she was blonde!"

"That doesn't mean anything," the blonde fired back.

Erik had seen enough. He jumped down, maybe not to kill them, but just to see how they knew his name. If the Daroga had been blabbing, he was going to get it. He snuck up behind them, and put his hand on the brunette's shoulder. They jumped back around and screamed. He closed his eyes to listen, he just loved the terror he caused. Suddenly he felt something around his waist. He looked down and the two girls were hugging him. Surely this couldn't be right. He finally managed to shake the two girls off, literally shake them off, they would not let him go.

"Why is it that you two are down here?" he said in the most menacing voice possible. The two girls just squealed again.

"Told you he would be Leroux," the brunette said sticking out her tongue.

"Back to Erik's question please," he said glaring at them. The girls didn't seemed phased at all. What was wrong with them?

"We came to sing you a song!" the blonde replied.

Christine sings, Carlotta goes croak.

Managers beg please, and Carlotta screams no.

Ballerina's scream. Madame Giry shouts, and Piangi sings weird.

The maids whine and Reyer sighs, and the audience goes clap, clap, clap.

But there's one sound that no one knows...

What does the Phantom say?

Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

What does the Phantom say?

Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

What does the Phantom say?

Hatte-hatte-hatte-ho!

Hatte-hatte-hatte-ho!

Hatte-hatte-hatte-ho!

What does the Phantom say?

Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff!

Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff!

Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoff!

What does the Phantom say?

Cool yellow eyes, masked nose, writing music and sending notes.

Many traps, in your lair, suddenly you're standing there.

Your mask is white, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise.

But if you steal an opera horse,

Will you communicate by mo-o-o-o-orse, mo-o-o-o-orse, mo-o-o-o-orse?

How will you speak to that ho-o-o-orse, ho-o-o-orse, ho-o-o-orse?

What does the Phantom say?

Ja-chacha-chacha-chow!

Ja-chacha-chacha-chow!

Ja-chacha-chacha-chow!

What does the Phantom say?

Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!

Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!

Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!

What does the Phantom say?

A-hee-ahee-ha-he!

A-hee-ahee-ha-he!

A-hee-ahee-ha-he!

What does the Phantom say?

A-oo-oo-oo-ooo!

W-oo-oo-oo-oo!

What does the Phantom say?

The secret of the Ghost, ancient mystery.

Somewhere deep in the cellars, I know you're hiding.

What is your sound? Will we ever know?

Will it always be a mystery? What do you say?

Then Piangi ran in behind the two girls. Erik was even more confused. How was Piangi able to run?

Or find his way down here?

You're the angel of music, hiding behind the mirror.

What is your sound? (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum a-bubu-dum-bubu-dwee-dum)

Will we ever know? (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)

I want to, I want to, I want to know! (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)

(Bay-buh-day bum-bum bay-dum)

Then the two girls ran out screaming, "The grasshopper hops jolly high!"

Piangi followed and Erik slightly frightened and very confused walked back to his lair. He had just sat down to finish writing the notes when his alarm went off again. "Oh not again!" he grumbled.


	2. Phantom of the Opera alternative ending

Back** with another chapter. This will be a fairly short chapter. But I still think it is funny. Note Raoul lovers might want to keep their hands at the level of their eyes for this one.**

**Note: I do not own any part of Phantom of the Opera.**

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**Narrator POV**

Erik had just let Christine and Raoul go. Erik was left crying on the floor as Christine rowed away in the boat with Raoul. In her mind Christine was thinking, "Don't look back, just don't look and you'll be fine." But as you know as soon as you start thinking about looking back, you look back. Christine felt instantly guilty. I mean who wouldn't? So she tried to focus on her life ahead, a happy life with Raoul. That's when Raoul ruined it all.

"I hope he dies back there. Or better yet the mob gets him. Now you can finally be mine Lotte. No one can stand in my way now. I won. And now you belong to me!" Raoul said with a twisted smile on his face. He grabbed onto Christine's arm to prevent her from escaping. Christine tried to fight but Raoul was strong. Finally she just smacked Raoul across the face. Raoul let her arm go and she jumped into the water.

"Get away from me you monster!" she screamed.

Raoul stopped the boat and watched her start to swim back towards the Phantom's lair."You're going the wrong way!"

Christine just kept paddling, "No I'm not!"

Christine made it back to Erik's lair without being caught in any of his traps. Raoul however got lost on the lake. Then he saw his reflection. He leaned in to take a closer look when he fell in. No one ever heard from him again.

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**Erik's POV**

I sat crying on the floor as Christine, the only person who at least tried to love me, rowed away with that boy. It had been a few minutes when I heard Christine scream.

"Get away from me you monster!"

I already knew I was a monster, couldn't she just leave me in peace? I felt my already broken heart shatter just a little more. I didn't even notice until for a while, but someone had wrapped their arms around me in a hug. I gasped, not used to human contact. When I looked up Christine was there trying to calm me down. "Why have you come back?" I asked, hoping that this wasn't just a figment of my imagination.

"For you." she replied.

Those two words were one of the kindest things anyone had ever said to me. "What of the Vicomte?"

"He doesn't matter. I love you Erik."

The she hugged me tight and pulled me in for a kiss. At that point I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Which made absolutely no sense. But when I saw her eyes I knew I couldn't be dreaming.

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**Narraror POV**

Erik and Christine lived happily ever after. The remained in Erik's lair because the mob never made it down there. They were too distracted by half of everything at the cheese store next to the opera house.

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**Well sorry for the cheesiness.(In more ways than one.) Hope you enjoyed that! Please review. More to come. Next time see what happens when a mob of deranged phans dressed like cheerleaders make it into Phantom of the Opera. **


	3. Phantom Cheerleaders

**Hi I am back with another chapter. I hope you have been enjoying this so far. I will get back to What Does the Phantom Say, but this story will not get out of my head. I will write in more character POV's in case you are wondering.**

**Note: A lot of people own Phantom of the Opera, but I don't.**

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**Kat's POV**

"OK, spill."

I looked at Maria, she had her hands on her hips and she was trying to look intimidating, which was hilarious since she was only five-foot one. I finally stopped laughing so I could speak, "Spill what?"

Maria gave me an, isn't it obvious, look, "You know what I'm talking about. That doesn't look like the Phantom I know. Where's his white half mask? Why is he so thin? And who is that Persian guy?"

I started laughing, you know that kind of laughing when you know something someone else doesn't, "Ok, Maria. So this is the actual Phantom of the Opera, the one Gaston Leroux wrote about. The Phantom's name is Erik if you haven't already noticed. As for your other questions, the description that Joseph Bouquet gave of Erik, is how he looks. I wouldn't go taking off the mask if I were you. The Persian guy is Nadir Khan, a close friend of Erik's from Persia. I wouldn't go asking Erik about Persia either. OK, now ground rules, don't ask Erik about any part of his past, don't take off his mask, and don't go in Erik's room. Got it?"

"Got it. Except you were rambling about Phantom again. Come on, we should do to bed."

I smiled, Maria was never able to stay up late. When I was sure Maria was asleep, I walked out of the room, still in my blue jeans and choir shirt, and in to the room where we talked earlier. I saw Erik and Nadir sitting there, talking in a strange language. Then it hit me, it was Nadir's native tongue. I sat down on the couch beside Nadir and listened to them talk.

They didn't notice me, but hey this wasn't some cheesy fanfic where Erik was going to imeadiatly fall head over heels in love with me when I walked into the room. Eventually Nadir walked out and left me alone with Erik. I sat there staring at the fire until Erik's voice broke me from my trance.

"Why is Mademoiselle up so late?"

I turned to face Erik, intrigued by his question, "What do you mean by late?"

Erik didn't say anything, he just opened his pocket watch and showed me the time. It was three am! No wonder he thought it was weird I was up. I stared back at the fire for awhile, watching the flames dance.

Erik didn't ask for an answer, he just stared off into space like I did, focusing on some random point in space.

"I love the night you know. It's so peaceful and beautiful. The moon shines and illuminates everything with a silver mist, and the stars twinkle as if they were the entrance to heaven themselves. Darkness envelopes everything in a cool blanket, and everything is hushed and still," I replied, still entranced by the fire.

Erik looked at me before speaking, "Darkness has been one of Erik's only friends. Darkness gives Erik a feeling of power, and though all is still you can still hear music."

I smiled and looked away from the flames that set the room aglow, "The music of the night."

We sat in silence for awhile, before I got up to go to bed, "Goodnight Erik. I don't mind if you play music by the way. Anything you play will be beautiful."

I walked away and crawled into bed, not bothering to change into my night clothes. I smiled as I heard music in the background, before I drifted off to sleep.

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**Sorry the chapter is so short. I promise they will get longer. The next chapter should be in Erik's POV. And no, he's not going to fall love with Kat. I have nothing against Erik/OC fics, but you have to be careful about keeping Erik in character. **

**I absolutely love the night. It's so peaceful. I got inspiration to write the part about night after reading, "Silver" by Walter de la Mare. If you haven't read it, it is a very good poem about the night. Kind of ironic, but when I looked it up to see who wrote it on Poem hunter, an ad for Phantom came up. **

**Anyway. How did you like this chapter? Hopefully it wasn't too cheesy. I reply personally to reviews. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed that chapter. I should be updating sometime this week.**


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